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A Word to the Wise from Leah Renold Women cannot use the same standards of behavior in India that they use at home. What is circumspect behavior and safe behavior in America is not always safe or circumspect in India. We cannot afford to ignore the differences. There are three main issues of which you need to be mindful: 1. Dress: Dress in the US is about personal expression and fashion. Bare shoulders and tight jeans are not a sign that you want to have sex with everyone on the street. In India, dress can be about personal expression and beauty, but it is also about modesty and tradition. While you can see Indian women in large cities wearing jeans and tight T-shirts, they are not the norm. In Indian culture, clothes should hide your body and its curves, not reveal them. Women who dress immodestly are considered loose women who are trying to attract men. When you dress in a manner that is considered immodest, men can think you are sending a signal to them, even if is it not your attention at all. So making statements about feminine freedom through your clothing does not make an impact in a place where you are only a misunderstood foreigner. While there may be glory in breaking the bounds of traditions, it is not wise to do so if you want to stay safe. You may disagree with the cultural norms, but you must remember that this is not your culture. We are only visitors, trying to study a culture. Adhering to cultural norms is a means of showing respect for the people of India and their way of life. At the same time, we must remember that violence and harassment on the part of men is not the fault of women. Men are responsible for their own acts. Untoward incidents happen to women who are dressed modestly. We cannot prevent all untoward events, but we need to take all the precautions we can to prevent them. At times, for the sake of safety, women must restrict self-expression and sometimes even comfort in dress. Some standards to observe in your dress: No bare shoulders No low cut shirts or blouses No bare midriffs (unless you are wearing a sari). No body revealing clothes, such as tight shirts and jeans. No bare legs or calves. Wearing Indian clothes, such as saris or salwar kameez (with accompanying long scarf draped over your chest) is an easy way to adhere to all the standards. 2. Independence and Movement: During leisure hours, American women are accustomed, within certain limits, to going wherever and whenever we like. If they feel like running through the park alone, they run through the park alone. If they feel like going to a movie at night, they go to the movie. American women do not have many limitations. They are also behaving like perfectly respectable women when act independently in this manner. In India, a woman may not be behaving properly when she behaves is a similar manner. The ideal situation for a respectable young women is to not go anyway without a husband, brother, father, or other trustworthy relative. Even when young women go to school, they usually go in groups or with a chaperon. So, they cannot always go somewhere exactly when they like. They have to arrange a time for someone else to go with them. This can be very frustrating for American women who are accustomed to independence and freedom of movement. Women out alone, though, are seen as moving outside the bounds of society. It is easy for Indian men to perceive foreign women as moving much further beyond the restrictions and protection of a social group. Additionally, men often see women as natural temptresses. Western women are also stereotyped as being promiscuous. Put together, all these cultural perceptions influence how men see Western women when they are out alone. Most men will not act on these perceptions. There are other social norms and ethics that serve to restrict their behavior. Some men, though, will take advantage of your perceived vulnerability. There is a risk if you are alone with any man. There is a much higher risk when you are with two men. Small groups of young men can be particularly dangerous. So, for the sake of safety, you must restrict your movement and independence. Some standards to observe in your movement: Never go anywhere alone. If you go out with women, go out in groups of three or more. It is always best, though, to have a fellow male student accompany you. 3. Contact with men In India, it is not proper for young women to establish contact with men who are outside the accepted family and social circle. Girls are taught to avert their eyes when they come near males. Women do not engage in conversation with men to whom they have not been properly introduced. As women are usually chaperoned or in groups, men are rarely brave enough to try to strike up a conversation. Women do not touch men casually or allow men to touch them. A pat on the back or shoulder of a woman by anyone but a close brother or husband is inappropriate. For a man to sit thigh to thigh with a woman or to touch any part of her body is improper behavior. Indian men, influenced by stereotypes of loose Western women, take liberties that they rarely take with Indian women. If women encourage them by not moving away or by engaging in conversation with them, the men can take this as a sign that the woman is showing that she is available and interested. If a man then invites the women someplace, and she agrees to go, this can be taken as a sign that the women is giving herself to the man. A western woman may actually only be saying that she would certainly like to go and have a cup of tea. The man though, may thing otherwise, and once alone, may become aggressive. For your safety, you cannot use the same standards of contact with men as you use at home. Some standards to adhere to in relationship to contacts with men: If you accidentally have eye contact with a man, avert your eyes. If a man tries to engage you in conversation, ignore him or say as little as possible and move away. If a man touches you or sits too close, look offended and move away at once. Do not speak too freely with men to whom you have been casually introduced if you do not have a properly established relationship. Do not talk about subjects like dating, love, or marriage to men.
A well-seasoned woman traveler writes of her experiences. From: Lee Campbell I traveled as a solo woman for five years throughout India, Nepal, Thailand, Sri Lanka, Malaysia and Singapore. Of all these places, I was only hassled in India, mostly in the north. And most of the time in South India was hassle free. Now, I say hassle free because it seemed to me that a lot of the attention was due more to curiosity than aggression - I was never afraid, except in Varanasi (see below). I think eye contact, behavior, and appearance were the reason I was not hassled too much. I did not go out after dark alone, even if it meant having food delivered to my room from outside. When I did encounter some difficulty, I found that a stern/indignant/insulted look worked wonders. Memories of the British Mem sa'ab and sahibs (translated as anyone who is white) is still alive and well in many places. Also placing the palms of the hands together and bowing the head in the local custom had a dramatic effect, like throwing cold water! I wore long dresses with a T-shirt underneath, even with backpack, which I found to be the coolest and most comfortable anyway. It also helped that I have dark hair. Even with that, I swear they could still see me coming a kilometer away, sitting in the shade of a rickshaw! The only place I was afraid, cutting my stay short, was in Varanasi/Benaras, the Holy City no less, in Northern India. While standing beside the Ganges during, in broad daylight, with a married German couple and a local Prof., I received a full body grope from behind - YUCK! Even just walking through the lovely tiny streets, I felt very uncomfortable - this was a first so I thought it best to leave. There was a little bit of "accidental bumping", from the younger men, which a return elbow in the ribs solved (as unladylike as it seems). There were also the inevitable curious who would ask because ... well ... (as they say in India) "everything is possible". I was constantly surprised by the number of hotel staff and rickshaw drivers who made passes, again nothing aggressive. It only served to make me wonder if they had reasonable success rates, or that they were incredibly persistent. Personally, I believe much of this is due to the fact that Indian men, and women for that matter, firmly believe each and every Western movie they have seen - that we all sleep with every Raj, Kumar, & Yuseff we chance to come upon. Instead of getting insulted and upset, however, I took the opportunity to try and explain to them that our movies are no more real than theirs, which can be surprisingly raunchy considering the culture and the lack of a Ratings system, admitting any and all paying customers. The importance of appropriate dress cannot be stressed enough. Shorts are an absolute NO-NO in any of the places I visited, except in Goa or other beach type places, since there are mostly tourists there anyway. I saw some "outfits" that would not be accepted in the West, or at least here in Canada, i.e. muscle shirts with the armhole to the waste with no bra or t-shirt underneath, and I noticed that even these girls were not wearing shorts. Aside from the hassle factor, it's very rude and insulting to the local culture(s), as ultra tolerant as Indians are. There was one definite advantage of being a (appropriately dressed) woman travelling alone and that was at airports. For some reason I was treated like a queen. Often the customs agents conducted a cursory look, if at all, and waved me through. And anyone who has ever had their luggage riffled through by these guys can appreciate that! Aside from the airport advantage, travelling solo vastly increases the chances of meeting locals, especially the ladies. They feel sorry for us traveling "all alone". The mere idea of an Indian girl traveling alone, un-chaperoned, on a train or bus, sends them into apoplectic fits (at least the ones I met). The above from http://www.travel-library.com/rtw/html/rtwwomen.html The following are suggestions for women from an Indian tourism:Women Traveler:
Women travelers are requested to take reasonable precautions & care if
traveling alone. Women Travelers have certain advantages as well as
certain disadvantages & discomfort also.
The following are two accounts of violence against American women in India. The accounts are not meant to frighten you or to create an impression of India as a particularly dangerous place. We all know that violence occurs in our own country. The articles are meant to reinforce the idea that you cannot use the same standards of judgment regarding what is safe and unsafe in India as you would use at home. http://www.eindiatourism.com/india-travel-info/women-traveler.html Tuesday, August 19, 2003 (Ranchi/Kolkata): A young American woman, who works with a Kolkata-based
NGO, has decided to leave India after she was raped by four men at
Ghatshila in neighbouring Jharkhand. The above from: http://www.ndtv.com/morenews/showmorestory.asp?slug=American+tourist+raped+in+Jharkhand&id=41583
Death for Killer of Woman Tourist from NZ
VARANASI: The long hand of law has finally caught up with tourist guide Dharmadev Yadav. A Varanasi court awarded him death penalty on Tuesday for murdering Diana Clare Routley, a woman backpack tourist from New Zealand, six years ago. The case was also one of the few in Indian history where an accused has been given capital punishment in the strength of evidence based on DNA finger-printing. Twenty-four-year-old Diana arrived in Varanasi in August 1997, checked into a guest house and was last seen with her tourist guide Dharmadev Yadav. As she did not return to Auckland, New Zealand, even after a year, her parents contacted Indian authorities. Suspecting foul play, Diana's father Allen Jak Routley came to India and formally lodged a complaint with the Bhelpur police station in Varanasi. The police finally tracked down Yadav in Mumbai. On sustained interrogation, Yadav admitted that he had murdered Diana and buried the body in his house. The police subsequently recovered a skeleton with some brown hair from his house in Ghajipur village, 70 km from Varanasi, and established its identity with the DNA finger-printing test after matching the sample with Diana's father. "The significant thing about this case is that the dead body was not identifiable, it had turned into a skeleton. The prosecution used the method of DNA testing to establish identity. Two post-mortem examinations were carried out on the body remains in which the superimposition technique was used. This is perhaps the first case in Uttar Pradesh where death sentence has been passed on the basis of DNA tests," said Anil Kumar Singh, prosecution lawyer. Four other accused were let off by the court for want of evidence. Yadav's father Samdev was full of remorse. "What to do? What can I say. One has to reap as one sows. One has to abide by the rule of the law. If he does something wrong, then one is bound to be punished," he lamented. The trial went on for nearly two years and dozens of witnesses were examined by the court before giving its final verdict. Diana was the 10th foreign tourist to have been found dead since 1997 under mysterious circumstances in Varanasi, the spiritual capital of India. Known for its Hindu temples and a culture steeped in religion and spirituality, Varanasi, located on the banks of river Ganga in Uttar Pradesh, is a favourite destination for visitors from other countries. The above taken from http://www.indiatraveltimes.com/crime/feb03.html Let's Do All We Can to Have a Good Trip and Stay Safe!
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